Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Surviving The Zombie Apocalypse

One of the things every goddess should know is how to survive. The first most important thing is a good attitude. Tell yourself you will survive. You can do this. Yes, there has been a terrible outbreak and many of your neighbors have turned into some kind of hideous zombie, but you can survive this. You have to believe it.

When dealing with zombies, it is very important that you determine what kind of zombie you are facing.   Are they intelligent or brain dead? Are they fast or slow?  This information will be very important to your survival plan.  If they behave like complete idiots, then you may be able to out think them or scare them off with flaming torches. Perhaps you can thwart them by climbing stairs. If they are intelligent, you have to be more cautious.

If you are lucky, they will be slow shambling dumb zombies. Congratulations! These kinds of zombies can often be outrun. You can build fortifications to keep them out.  Their constant moaning, while annoying, makes a great early warning system. If you are not so lucky, they will be fast. If you are extremely unlucky, they will be fast and intelligent. These are the most dangerous forms of zombies. Avoid them at all costs!

I recommend finding an easily defensible area of your home. In our house, I would go for the basement. We have a partially finished side that could be used as a living space and the unfinished side has an assortment of tools including saws and axes.   We have fire wood and lumber down there that we could nail over those small basement windows and over the door leading down stairs.  It gives us a defensible choke point if the enemy comes down.

You will want to stockpile as much canned food and water as you can as soon as you realize there is a problem. If you wait, most of the food may be gone. Make sure you take a manual can opener with you into your safe area. You don't want to have food but no way to open it if the power goes out. Be cautious about hunting fresh game. Always check to make sure the animal has not been zombified first. You don't want to be infected by eating zombie rabbit meat.

Eat perishable items first and then eat the food in order of what is going to expire first. I know this is an upsetting time emotionally but now is not the time to revert to emotional eating choices. Practical choices must be made. Limit your calories and eat what is available so you can stay healthy.   Spend the time you are confined exercising so you can be stronger and faster. You may want to take the opportunity to practice such as swing an axe or striking targets with your available weapons. This will come in handy if some zombies do find you, especially if they are the fast kind. 

Make sure you know what counts as a kill shot. Do you need to take out the head? The heart?  Will cutting off a limb stop them?  Avoid getting bit or scratched as these are going to be your most likely sources of contamination.  Grab anything in your home that might be a good weapon--guns, of course, but also baseball bats, broom handles, butcher knives, my husband's Japanese sword (sorry honey!).  Try grabbing chemicals such as bleach and seeing if the zombies react to it--preferably thrown on them from a safe distance.

You will also want to stockpile medical supplies. I would not go too overboard on these. Chances are any wound that would require bandaging is going to be one that turns you into a zombie anyways so why waste the shelf space that could be used for important things like food and toilet paper?  Decide early how you will handle latrine issues. If you use a bucket system, be careful of where you dump it. You could be leaving a smelly trail right to your hiding place.

If you can manage to hole up, be cautious and practical, chances are the zombie infection will run its course in a few weeks to months or the government will come in and shoot them all down anyways. Be patient, be careful and you can survive this. Just don't poke your head out when you hear gun fire. You don't want to have survived this long to get shot down by friendly fire.  Good luck and good hunting.

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