Friday, July 31, 2015

I Don't Believe In Soulmates

The idea of a soulmate is wonderful. The idea that the Lord has put this one perfect person on the Earth created just for you; it is intoxicating really. You are so important that there has been a perfect partner created just for you.
I have a problem with the idea of one perfect soulmate for several reasons.

What if you miss them?
What if there is one perfect person out there for you and you are having a bad day or feeling bruised from a prior relationship or they just aren't as tall as you thought they would be and you miss them? Does this mean you never get another chance at being truly happy?

If they are meant for you, then you will not miss them.
So I have no control over my life? I don't get to decide if I want to be with someone? They are already chosen for me and my free will means nothing? What other decisions do I make that I think are mine but are really just me acting out my role as puppet? Is it only the big stuff or is even my breakfast choice predetermined into the master plan?

What if they die?
I've been to too many funerals not to wonder what happens if your soulmate dies. Does this mean you never get to be truly happy ever again or do you get a second one? And if you get a second one then how is there one perfect soulmate? Are there levels--the perfect one, the almost perfect one, etc.?

If you think you are destined to be together, you may not work on the relationship. Relationships are hard work. Even with someone you love desperately there are conflicts and compromises and accommodations that must be made. The idea of soulmates makes it sound easy and it is not. My spouse and I know that our relationship is worth the work and that taking care of each other and our marriage is important.

I believe that in this world there are many wonderful people that suit you; many more that would make for a perfectly nice relationship. There are hundreds of possible good relationships. I believe you should wait for a person that you love, some one with whom you are compatible; someone that understands and values the relationship and most importantly, that it is not some one you are trying to change or for whom you are willing to settle. I'm not saying settle; never settle. I am saying do not be so consumed with looking for the perfect match that you miss the almost perfect one that is willing to work hard to make you happy. I don't believe in soulmates but I believe in life mates.

No comments:

Post a Comment